Hell in a Handbasket

This close up view clearly shows a burning city at the bottom of the picture. So I suppose the whole end times theme we guessed about is the correct one.

The placing of the FHotA in relation to each other is very important, with each figure taking their place and not deviating from the order. The first Horsemen is supposed to ride a white horse, and it is Conquest made flesh. Here we can see that Conquest is riding an archaic Easy Rider style motorcycle, and she carries Michael Jackson in a hermetically sealed sidecar. This is probably the best place for him to be because it doesn't look like there is enough room in there for a child.

Next to Conquest is the rider on the red horse, named War. The artist pictures War as a tusked pig on a motor scooter with the words MORE EQUAL tattooed on his chest. The image reminds me very strongly of the last time I had a run in with a tusked pig, except a motor scooter wasn't involved. The pig made some mighty fine burritos, though, which means that whatever point the artist was trying to make is lost in my memories of carnitas and refried beans.

This is making me hungry! On to the upper right portion of the picture.

The next figure is supposed to be Pestilence, who rides a black horse. In this picture it is a winged unicorn on a tan motorized bicycle who is driving with one hoof while stroking a medal pinned to it's chest with the other. I have no idea what this means, and suspect I wouldn't be able to figure it out without massive doses of peyote and Marxist philosophy.

The last Horseman is always Death, who rides a pale horse. This looks like the guy alright, except that he has a serpent coiled around his neck and twined through his eye sockets and grinning skull. He also seems to be wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

Hey, that reminds me! Doesn't Miley Cyrus work for Disney? She isn't that thin, though, so I doubt that is her in the mural.

Let us turn our attention to the lower right section of the mural, the part directly under Death's spinning wheels.

Here we see the people who are trying to get in to the burning city, perhaps representing those who have resigned themselves to their fate. We see an Amish buggy, a tanker truck for a popular soft drink, a schoolbus, and Julie Andrews as the nun from The Sound of Music (1965).

Parked by the side of the road are a bunch of Volkswagon vans, something I haven't seen since the Beck tour played in my home town and the crowd of mindless fans descended on an unsuspecting community. Where are the hippies that usually drive those things? They must be off doing what they did during the Beck tour, which was shoplift anything they could from every convenience store in striking distance.

Moving on to the lower left...

Who is fleeing the burning city? Why, a stretch limo being escorted by two policemen in motor scooters. (What is it with this guy and scooters, anyway?) A tank painted in desert colors and a rampaging black elephant with stars painted on it's skin is also making a run for it, the terrified elephant carelessly trampling a car. A guy in a red car is brandishing his shotgun, obviously thinking about taking a shot at one of the Four Horsemen.

Obviously, all of those images must represent conservatives and Republicans. How do I know? They are the only ones smart enough to actually flee the burning city, and the guy with the gun is the only one with big enough balls to actually stand up to the harbingers of doom.

If this sort of thing actually does happen, then I get dibs on bagging War with a load of double-oh. Hmmm, carnitas!