A few days ago I noticed a bad smell in the house. It was kind of midlewy, just like old gym shoes that had been left to ferment in a warm, damp place for a few weeks.
I had been out in the yard for the past few days, clearing brush and sweating away. Must be my shoes, I thought, so I bought a new pair yesterday.
But that didn't take care of the odor. In fact, I noticed that it was even worse today. It still smelled like moldy feet, but there was now a pretty noticeable understench. It was like fish that had gone bad.
The smell flashed me back to the time when I was working for the police. I couldn't figure out how a worn out street whore had managed to break into my house and hide in my living room!
So I decided to sniff it out. It became obvious that it was coming from a dog cage that I have set up in the living room. But when I got down on my hands and knees to check it out, my smallest dog freaked out!
He jumped between me and the cage, planting his front paws on my chest. Since he weighs 11 pounds and I'm 235, this didn't get him anywhere. When I moved past him and reached into the cage anyway, he rolled over on his back and showed me his belly. A preemptive surrender to try and mitigate punishment.
I found the source of the stink easy enough. There were a few old, ripped up bed sheets that had been tossed in the cage to act as nesting material. Fuzzball had thrown up on one, and then carefully covered up the pile of half digested dog food. It was all moldy by the time I got to it, so it must have been there for a few days until I noticed the smell.
It is a mystery as to why he tried to hide it in the first place, and why he was frantic to keep me from discovering the mess since I don't punish my dogs for puking. (Heck, everyone gets sick now and then.) The best I can figure is that he must have panicked with all this talk of food riots and famine that has been in the news lately.
So I carried the sheet out to the trash, problem solved. I'm just glad he hadn't killed a crack whore and dragged her carcass into the cage to act as emergency rations. That would have been a real pain to clean up.
Comments (3)
Maybe the shame wasn't in throwing up, but in what he ate (but wasn't supposed to) that made him throw up.
Last week our 65 lb dog decided that child's blue plastic shovel would make a nice chew toy. He threw up little pieces of blue plastic for the next two days.
Posted by Preston | April 30, 2008 1:17 PM
Posted on April 30, 2008 13:17
Bad memories of a drunk sailor on Liberty in Subic...
Posted by ke4sky | April 30, 2008 3:14 PM
Posted on April 30, 2008 15:14
I've quoted you and linked to you here: http://consul-at-arms.blogspot.com/2008/05/re-what-in-name-of-all-that-is-holy-is.html
Posted by Consul-At-Arms | May 11, 2008 3:54 AM
Posted on May 11, 2008 03:54