Hell in a Handbasket

It struck me as odd that just about every defining detail is left out of the narrative. There is no precise address or location where the attempted crime took place, the name of the rescuer is unknown, and even the victim laments that her only regret is in "not getting the man's phone number."

This makes me wonder. Why can't she just get the name, address, and phone number of the gun owner off of the police report? Or did she and her heaven sent rescuer just allow two desperate men go free who had already shown that they were looking to kidnap a woman and child at knifepoint?

I was going to write more about this amazing lack of hard facts, but this post is already becoming too long as it is. Just read the letter for yourself and try to think of how you would find out if this is an actual event. If you are stumped, if you can't find a single precise detail that will allow you to verify that such a serious crime really occurred, then it is probably a pile of bullshit.

The letter supposedly was submitted to the website by Brian Clifford, but it was written by his "Dear Friend". I tried to Email Mr. Clifford to ask for some details so I could confirm that the incident was genuine, but it would appear that his account at AOL doesn't exist. I've run a few Internet searches on the name to see if he has written anything else for the gun forums, but the search keeps grounding itself on the online shoals created by this letter's sudden popularity. (Hey, how's THAT for a nautical reference?)

A search of the name at the Keep and Bear Arms website turned up more info. It seems that the letter itself was first posted on 10/8/2000, a good eight years ago without anyone noticing. Now that the blogs have started to buzz about it, I'm sure that it will keep cropping up for the next decade or so.

I also found two fiction items, examples of creative writing, at that website that were posted by a "Bryan Clifford" . Same guy? I dunno. The Email address for Brian is different from Bryan's, but the writing style is certainly similar in at least one example.

Case in point is this tale of a rather dim witted gun owner who was jailed after all firearms are outlawed in the United States. It appeared on the website a week before the letter was posted.

The other submission was posted in 2001 and it is a poem that is about, near as I can figure, attacking the United Nations.

What we have here, as the saying goes, is a failure to communicate!

The letter which first got me wondering seems to have been posted as an attempt to get the blood pumping in fellow 2nd Amendment supporters, and it appears to be a case of creative writing that has received way too much attention. Did the author of the letter attempt to fool people with a bogus tale? Probably, but it didn't really go anywhere when they first presented it close to a decade ago, and they and the two Cliffords seem to have lost interest in posting any new material some time around 2001. It is only due to the nature of the Internet, where stuff exists long past their shelf life and lies ready to be rediscovered, that this letter ever came to our attention.

But remember what first tipped us off in the first place. Lack of names, places, dates, and details! If you come across a story that sounds pretty good, and you want it to be true, first check to make sure that you can verify from another source before trusting it. If it is a tale about a crime, then there should be media coverage and a police report to back it up. If the source material lacks any way for you to even find out which law enforcement agency would handle the investigation, then it is almost certainly the imaginings of a fertile brain.

Or maybe I should say "The imaginings of a fertile Brian."

(Sorry about the terrible pun, but I couldn't resist!)